Growing up, life wasn’t exactly straightforward. I lost my dad when I was seven, and my mom, a teacher, did her best to raise me and my siblings. We lived in two tiny grass tukuls at the school where she worked. I didn’t realize how poor we were until I came of age. Everyone around us at the time was poor, and while things weren’t always easy, we got by.
But one thing that made school particularly tough for me was bullying. I have big eyes, and kids loved to point that out. “You look like a frog!” “You’ve got owl eyes!” It was harsh, and every time they said it, I felt smaller and smaller. I was always sad, and the last thing I wanted to do was go to school. My mom didn’t fully understand the weight of what I was going through. She had a lot on her plate, trying to care for four kids while teaching full-time. I didn’t think my mother could do anything to help my situation, so I kept it all inside.
But there were days when the bullying was so bad I just wanted to stay home. And that’s when the chase began. My mom would chase me out of the house with a stick, urging me to go to school. Occasionally, I would leave the house as if I were going to school, then go to the bushes and wait until I was sure my mom had left home for work. Once she’d headed to work, I’d sneak off, returning home. I didn’t want to face the kids who made fun of me. It felt like the whole world was laughing at me, and I just couldn’t take it.
One day, some neighbour’s kids were mocking me. After hearing me cry, my mom gave me a piece of advice, which became my powerful weapon to confront bullies then and in my day-to-day life. She said, “When they bully you, they want to see you cry. If you stop crying, they’ll lose interest. Don’t show them you’re upset.” At first, I wasn’t sure it would work, but I decided to try it. And you know what? It actually worked. The next time they teased me about my eyes, I just shrugged it off like I had never heard them say anything. I didn’t cry. I didn’t get angry. And slowly, they stopped making fun of me, or at least, they couldn’t get a rise out of me anymore. It felt like I’d taken away their power.
But things didn’t stop there. There was one bully, Yona, who was always picking on me. He wasn’t the tallest kid in my class, but he was strong, like a little tank. In the Acholi language, we refer to such people as ‘ojing kol’- someone short, so energetic, and whose face appears younger than their age. Yona used to intimidate everyone in my class, and I was his favourite target. We played soccer during breaks, and I loved being a striker. But Yona? Well, he didn’t care much about fair play.
One day, Yona made an aggressive tackle during a game when I had the ball. He wasn’t trying to get the ball; he wanted to hurt me. I fell to the ground, and instead of feeling defeated, I got up. “What’s your problem, Yona?” I asked, but he just shrugged and taunted me. What will you do? Huh,” he asked. I ignored him and moved on.
And then he did it again when I had the ball. He came for my legs with an aggressive tackle and kicked me hard. At this point, I felt Yona was trying to agitate me to start a fight. I was mad, but I remembered my mom’s advice. I tried to keep my cool, but that was the last straw after the third aggressive tackle. Yona pretended to be attempting to play the ball and kicked me hard, and that’s when something inside me clicked. I ran up to him and got a flying kick on his neck. Down he went! The other kids gathered around, cheering me on.
Yona got up, but I wasn’t done. As he stood up, I kicked him again, this time on the head. He hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. When he got up a third time, I dodged his punch and gave him one good hit. He fell back down.
The other kids were cheering our fight. The bell rang for us to head back to class. We all ran to class. As I walked to class, I felt like a champion. The other kids were buzzing, amazed that the same kid who always got picked on had just taken down the biggest bully in the class.
It wasn’t finished as you might expect. Later that day, Yona walked past me in class, still shaken. He said, “You’ll see. It’s not over yet.” I was not perturbed. I calmly told him, “We’ll see after school if you want another fight.” By this time, I already knew Yona’s weakness – he was short, and my strength – my height. My victory in the first round also gave me more confidence. Moreover, some of the skills I watched in a 1984 movie by Chuck Norris titled ‘Missing in Action’ gave me courage. Guess what? Yona never came. He never bothered me again.
That was the last time Yona bullied anyone. He realized that I wouldn’t let him push me around anymore.
Looking back, I learned a lot from that experience. If you don’t stand up to some bullies, they will just keep picking on you. But when you fight back and stop letting them see your fear, you take away their power.
After that day, I felt stronger and more confident. I stopped worrying about who would bully me next and started enjoying school again. If there’s one thing, I want to tell kids dealing with bullies, it’s this: sometimes, the best way to deal with a bully is to show them you’re not afraid. Don’t let them control your happiness. Stand tall, be confident, and don’t back down.Share
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